apricotvevo:

Me after using duolingo for a month

1612th:

straight white boy culture is a gem

someone walks by, holding a phone

hoenn4life:

howmanyletterscaniputinmyurl:

me: they’re playing pokemon go

YES

when u finally land a shot on that one enemy player who’s killed you twelve times already

tvguts:

meloetta:

emosad420:

meloetta:

my bf texted me a picture of a mysterious big black roach looking bug on the floor and hasn’t answered me since… rip

dam u think that roach givin him the succ?

ven0moth:

tryna hug tall people like 

nothing-but-greens:

aph-sakura:

idontcareifitsreal:

no way this is 6 seconds only

6 seconds of pure beauty

I’m on the verge of crying

los-york-new-angeles:

UNMUTE PLEASE

growlift:

eziocauthon89:

girlwholovesturtles:

baara:

“ok so in the middle of a vine my brother found a snake in the kitchen”

This is a work of art.

OK, but where was that vine going originally?

“wHOA W H AT THE FUUUUUUUUUCK”

sexualified:

santeria:

adidastan:

THIS IS THE CUTEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

I almost cried when she got so happy when her parents saying “yes!”

Byeee They deadass put a receding hairline on a fish

Today, I fucked up… by overestimating my knowledge of female pleasure.

today-ifuckedup:

This in fact happened 3 years ago when I was 16 (before anyone get up my ass I’m English and the age of consent here is 16).

I was in a relationship with a girl I’d been friends with for a while, she was the shy girl in class, homework always done early, nerdy teachers pet but all round sweet girl. We were both virgins and neither had any previous sexual experience of any sort. We never intended to be sexual so young but things happened and after about 6 months the day came that we finally decided to progress past fully clothed kissing.

I had predicted this day would be coming so I had made sure to watch plenty of porn to brush up on my knowledge on what gets a girl horny and after many a video I felt I was quite the expert.

Fast forward to her being in my bed after 2 awful movies on my television spent kissing, we started touching each other and things were moving fairly fast, I wasn’t nervous as I was prepared for this situation.

At this point I would like to make clear that I was not the cool kid that you may currently may think I was, I was a huge dork, I was TERRIBLE in any sort of social context and often decided really stupid things would be the correct way out of such situations…sigh.

But anyway, I was feeling good about this, I was still really nervous but I felt in control. My top had already come off and she was just in her bra, this is when she reached round her back to remove it.

At this moment any preparation left my head as two boobs entered my general area.

All I could remember was one porno I had seen and decided to use this as a guide.

I reached out towards her virgin nipples, not in the gentle manner as would best be advised but in a way I can only describe as angry gardener hand removing some tough weeds from the flowerbed of their prized roses.

I clutched her pink chesticles between my thumb and first fingers and squeezed them for dear life, The porno I was using as reference was a hardcore dominating video, She screamed out and I thought that was a sign she liked it, I began to twist and twist and twist, she was screaming and screaming and screaming, I, at this point had no idea if it was good or bad so my social shitness kicked in and felt the correct way to deal with such a situation was not to let go but to twist slightly harder, look her in the eyes and say in the most stupid Scottish accent (Again, I have no idea why, I am, nor have I ever been Scottish or even related to anyone Scottish) “YA LIKE THAT DONT YA!!!”

She cried, a lot…she then left me a week later.

Check out more TIFUs: Internet`s best fuck ups are here.